Weird real quotes: Waiter

While having lunch here in New Jersey a few days ago, the waiter came up after we had received our food and said:

"How did everything come out so far?"

Excuse me, but I am not in the bathroom. I am eating!

Skogen är full av lingonben

...benen kliver över stock och sten
hipp och hopp och murkla,
där stod kantarellen.

Föränderliga semlesvamp,
bleka taggsvampar och därtill
uti gröna mossan tutade i tratten.

Långa klivet hemåt gick,
tunga armar då jag fick
tutade och vissla, men jag hörde inget

Glad med lingon i min hink
tunga kassen skogens guld
nu så ser jag huset
"nu ä mamma hemma!"

Barking dog plaza 13/9 2008

For all non-swedish speaking: If you use the automatic translator for this, I can tell you it doesn´t even make sense in swedish. I´m just fooling around with a swedish nonsense vocal, with my own words. Ask LS and she will, maybe, tell you the general idea.
Because...this is what the automatic translator comes up with

Forest is full of lingonben
bone stride over logs and stone
hip and spring and decayed ,
there stood kantarellen.
Alterable semlesvamp ,
bleach taggsvampar and därtill
uti greener pulp tutade in funnel.
Tall stride hemåt was going ,
tongue arms then self was getting tutade and hiss ,
but self heard nothing
Jolly with linguist in mine bucket
tongue bin forest gold
now so am seeing self accommodate
" now ä mamma housewife!"

Do you understand anything? How can lingon be linguist? And hemma translate to housewife?
I think it´s amazing they call this translation service. But of course, they claim to know 1600 different languages, and since almost nobody speaks swedish, who would know if they cheat a bit? Intertran

LS' translation (with some minor changes and no rhymes):

The forest is full of lingon legs
walking over logs and rocks
hipp and jump and morel,
there was the chantarell!

Everchanging pastryshroom,
pale spike fungi and more as well,
trumpeted in the green moss.

Long steps toward my home,
with burdened arms I walked,
toot and whistle, but I heard nothing

Happy with full lingon bucket,
heavy bag with forest gold
now I see the farm house,
"now Mom is home!"

Snapshot: The upper class' subtle way of expression

What a load of crap.

Ok, this is probably only funny to Swedes and jokes that need to be explained are often ruined, but I'll try anyway so you won't feel too abandoned.

This is a bill for the Newspaper Östermalms-nytt. Östermalm is a part of Stockholm with a long upper class tradition. The bill reads "3000 TONS OF HORSE SHIT MAY BE DUMPED IN RECREATION AREA". Oh the irony...

I find the second headline amusing as well but for a different reason: "Get in shape with books and bottles". That could become a very popular method.

/O.K.
Listening to while posting: The humming sound of a espresso machine from 1961.

"Å fan, det är vår!"

Jag sorterade lite papper och ut föll denna klassiska seriestripp, passande årstiden. Om nån vill översätta så är det bara att "gå höger ett huvud".

/O.K.
Listening to while posting: William Shatner & Henry Rollins - I can't get behind this

Are you in need of a cleaner?

Is your computer screen/monitor lacking in cleanliness? Are you to lazy to clean it up yourself? Then why not hire a personal monitor cleaner?!


Click below for your personal monitor cleaner:
http://cache.valleywag.com/assets/resources/screenclean.swf

Huuurdi buuh!

And now, the feature we all have been waiting for: The blog as the Swedish chef reads it! Bork bork bork!
All swedes realize that he says "bort, bort, bort" (away, away, away) before he tosses whatever he holds in his hands, but try to tell that to this english-centric world/internet... ;)

/O.K.